MSNBC Talk Show Host Michael Savage on Ashleigh Banfield: “The mind-slut with a big pair of glasses that they sent to Afghanistan.”
Ashleigh Banfield: “He was so taken aback by my daring to speak to martyrs … for being prepared to sacrifice themselves, he chose to label me a slut on the air, and that’s not all, as a porn star and an accessory to the murder of Jewish children. These are the ramifications for simply bringing the message in the Arab world.”
NBC’s official response: “Ms. Banfield does not speak for NBC News. We are deeply disappointed and troubled by her remarks, and will review her comments with her. In the meantime, we want to emphasize how proud we are of the journalism produced by NBC News and of the men and women who worked around the clock, even risking their lives, to bring this story to the American public.”
Oh Snap?
The White House Correspondents’ Dinner is usually a whirl of a time—the president gets a chance to crack some jokes and gets razzed a bit himself. But because of “recent events” and the Bush administration’s We-Will-Not-Be-Mocked battle cry, this year’s event was a somber affair. But sparks still flew between semi-comedian Al Franken and Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz.
Franken: Clinton’s military did pretty well in Iraq, huh?
Wolfowitz: Fuck you.
Oh snap!
From the New York Times review of the movie Confidence:
The problems with “Confidence,” which opens today nationwide, are summed up by Mr. Burns’s performance, which is difficult to distinguish from any of his other performances, except that his hair is shorter. The conviction of his own infinite charm and intelligence is apparently so strong that he need never manifest the slightest vulnerability, doubt or complicated emotion anything, in other words, that might be called acting. He is so glib and lazy as to make Ben Affleck look like the young Dustin Hoffman.
Oh snap!!
From an expose in the Sun exposing the fact that JLo grew up in the suburbs:
Shes another Hollywood star whos forgotten where she comes from. Shes very artificial more artificial than a plastic rose. [said retired policeman Henry Palayo]
Oh snap!!
Here is something I tried to put up last week but for some reason the front page is not working. I think it has improved with age.
Breaking news: Here is a strange story, readers. Bush’s favorite portrait of himself was painted by a gay porn actor. This means Bush is gay and into porn. Who knew?
Double breaking news! Decry rules! Yes, we get everything from other websites but we still beat you suckers to the punch. Atrios, of superblogger fame, linked to this story at another blog, which was posted today. Decry was on this last week, homiez. This kind of thing is decidedly unsatisfying reminder that no one reads this site but me. Whimper.
This totally rocks. Now that we’ve swept through Iraq and blessed the population with the freedom to loot and murder, Bush is taking suggestions for who to invade next. He’s all, “What the fuck? Why not? Not having a plan in Iraq has worked up to now, and I’m sure rebuilding is going to be a breeze. The best plan is no plan at all.”
Condoleeza Rice and Donald Rumsfeld got in an early bid for Syria. I’m angling for Alaska. We declare it a rogue state, hop right in, and start drinking oil like it’s whisky. (Dont worry, we’ll make DC a state for the sake of symmetry.) Caribou steaks, anyone?
Or Africa. That’s a country, right? I just figure we may as well, since if you take Africa you get 5 additional armies each turn.
Or England. That would be a mindfuck for Tony Blair. We’re all, thanks for the support, Tonester. And then in come the paratroopers. It’d be worth it just to see the look on his face. We’ll be all, Tony, look up, player. We dont get down with international cooperation.
Or let’s preemptively invade the blue states. They are filled with people who dont give a shit about freedom anyway, and hate America. If you hate America so much, blue states, then you can rot in a military compound in Puerto Rico.
Just email your suggestions to whotofucknext@yahoo.com. And kids, dont say your schools. They dont have enough money to make it worthwhile.
“Yet another terrible disease is about to yield to patience, persistence
and outright genius”
–Margret Heckler, Secretary of the US Department of Health and Human Services on the development of an HIV vaccine in 1983.
Because is sure as hell is not ethical. Wait—isn’t giving your friends billions of dollars when you are President corrupt? What am I missing here? Are you allowed to do this?
From the New York Times (user: decry, password: decry): “The Pentagon contract given without competition to a Halliburton subsidiary to fight oil well fires in Iraq is worth as much as $7 billion over two years, according to a letter from the Army Corps of Engineers that was released today.”
You’d think most people would at least accept other bids so they could pretend there was a legitimate selection process. Especially a president who claims to be guided by Christian principles, which I suspect do not include favoritism, exploitation of conflict of interest, deceit, and gross profit motive. And especially a president who claims to be humble.
It’s worked so far, though—he does it, we take it. I wish real life was that simple.
From a “press availability” held by George Bush and Tony Blair. It’s worth reading and it’s fun to measure the amount Blair spoke versus how much Bush spoke.
THE PRESIDENT: We’ll take two questions a side. We would hope that you would respect asking one question per question.
Q: That, of course, means I can ask each leader one question.
THE PRESIDENT: No, it does not mean that. Of course, you will anyway, but —
Q: Yes, sir.
To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but it is morally treasonable to the American public. Nothing but the truth should be spoken about him or anyone else, but it is even more important to tell the truth, pleasant or unpleasant, about him than about any one else.
—Theodore Roosevelt
“Naturally the common people don’t want war; neither in Russia, nor in
England, nor in America, nor in Germany. That is understood. But after all,
it is the leaders of the country who determine policy, and it is always a
simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a
fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
“Voice or no voice the people can always be brought to the bidding of the
leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being
attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the
country to danger. It works the same in any country.”
Hermann Goering, at the Nuremberg Trials
April 18, 1946
(from the BBC website)
