What you didn’t know was that Bush will be gone within the month, victim of his pals’ ploy to stuff the electronic “ballot” boxes of Florida. Yes, you wonder why Bush seems to have had a 5% boost in “real” votes over the numbers from the exit polling, while people have been screaming for months about these voting machines that leave no paper trail and are produced by a company with conservative ties and a frontman that donated mad scrilla to the CREEP? Hmm . . .

So cheer up, bitches. This scandal will be known as e-Gate, and it will break in the New York Times 10 days from Monday when one of the partisan hackers involved in the scam will come clean and divulge the simple little algorithm he wrote to tack an end-of-pipe “Bush” onto ~5% of all Kerry votes. Bush and Cheney will be forced to resign, a recall election will be held, and Barack Obama will be President 4 years early.

Rejoice!