In order to be more like Europe, which it loves, and less like proud, noble America, which it hates and envies, pinko Canada has started showing cases of SARS and mad cow disease.

It’s sad, isn’t it, when America-haters go to such lengths to hate America? I hear they are also giving us the finger by not being $1 trillion in debt and by participating in blatant weapons-free interaction with other countries. Bastards.