This totally rocks. Now that we’ve swept through Iraq and blessed the population with the freedom to loot and murder, Bush is taking suggestions for who to invade next. He’s all, “What the fuck? Why not? Not having a plan in Iraq has worked up to now, and I’m sure rebuilding is going to be a breeze. The best plan is no plan at all.”

Condoleeza Rice and Donald Rumsfeld got in an early bid for Syria. I’m angling for Alaska. We declare it a rogue state, hop right in, and start drinking oil like it’s whisky. (Dont worry, we’ll make DC a state for the sake of symmetry.) Caribou steaks, anyone?

Or Africa. That’s a country, right? I just figure we may as well, since if you take Africa you get 5 additional armies each turn.

Or England. That would be a mindfuck for Tony Blair. We’re all, thanks for the support, Tonester. And then in come the paratroopers. It’d be worth it just to see the look on his face. We’ll be all, Tony, look up, player. We dont get down with international cooperation.

Or let’s preemptively invade the blue states. They are filled with people who dont give a shit about freedom anyway, and hate America. If you hate America so much, blue states, then you can rot in a military compound in Puerto Rico.

Just email your suggestions to whotofucknext@yahoo.com. And kids, dont say your schools. They dont have enough money to make it worthwhile.